An Empath’s Search
April 21st 2019
This year I’ve met a lot of people, and sadly, thought that there couldn’t possibly be anyone out there I could truly open up to. I chalked it up to saying that dating these days is too non-chalent, everyone moves on too quickly. And I moved on quickly too. Anyone I met was either playing the field, or I would say “They’re great , BUT....”
I’ve never met anyone whose been at my level. Whose used to achieving their dreams, to setting goals, to being passionate - but also loving, grateful, and positive. Who care about people they don’t even know, as well as those they are most loyal to. Someone whose actually better than me at so many things!
But then I saw the quote, “Your soulmate is the stranger you meet, that you feel like you already know.” How could someone affect me like that in just 36 hours? How could I feel after one weekend of knowing you, that I’ve known you for so much longer? Someone that made me comfortable being independent, but also made me feel like I’m theirs. It’s like everything I’ve been passionate about,everything I’ve prepared for, would lead me to you.
My love for sports, and deciding basketball was the one. Playing, coaching, pushing, leaving home to play, loving it. Going to my first NBA game, only to be wearing he same shirt ...
My self growth, that made me who I am, loving, kind, compassionate, grateful, positive, optimistic. I built it within myself without even knowing you, just knowing being this way would bring good things to myself, and those around me. For 5 year’s before I met you I practiced gratitude for a world I didn’t know was coming.
Sports medicine, rehabilitation, therapy, helping and healing others. Being someone that people trust to ask questions, to inquire about what hurts, what scares them, what could change their lives, and picking them up when they are down & being the person to help. How could I know that you’ve always wanted that too?
My drive for academics. Best in class, top of class, straight As, focused on research, focus in pushing my academic limits, never failing, but knowing failing is learning too. Working so so so hard and it paying off. Not cuz your lucky, because you put in the work. Being 30 with an amazing career and so much more potential.
And my choice to leave. My choice to jump and be courageous and not only leave my country but a city and family I loved. Knowing I deserved more than what he could give me. Knowing I deserved better, I needed someone to meet me half way. I needed someone who thrived off pushing me, not pushing me away. It was worth it. I knew one day I would understand what everyone else had always said, and here it is.
The last step is my heart. My heart still tries so hard to fight for its independence, but how can you deny this. You’ve prepared your whole life for this, and you might not be ready, but maybe it’s just that you don’t think you deserve it. And believe me, you do.
With you baby, there’s no “But”..::
Love from Houston
Lauren Gavrailoff, T.W.O
Continued in “An Empath’s Hurt”